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hey, i'm clumsytanuki. i feel like i need to relearn who i am. yeah sorry guys website is pretty barren LMAO
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I am pausing the posting of devlogs for amp-gt;. Hopefully nobody from my game development 1 class is reading this because I literally just told the entire class that I was working on this visual novel, but I was a little nervous so I'll cut myself some slack. Recently, I've learned that I don't know how to do things for myself, for the sake of doing them, detached from anyone's expectations including my own. This phenomenon severely affects my ability to create art. I constantly hold myself to unrealistic standards and expectations, specifically when it comes to my drawing skills. I was extremely motivated when creating the initial dialog system and special features for, but the art has been the main bottleneck of development. It's been a slog, and I don't want to be the kind of developer who makes promises without being ready to fulfill them.
My situation has left me at a crossroads. The bottom line is that I have to learn how to create art for myself again. That being said, I have the choice of either pausing the creation of artwork for the visual novel and acclimating myself to creating art for myself again, or continuing to make art for amp-gt; while lowering my standards significantly. In the latter option, amp-gt; would be the vehichle that allows me to enjoy art again, and it wouldn't be through random sketches in my sketchbook. The sacrifice I would make for that is the quality of the visual novel. I'm leaning towards the latter decision, but I still need time to make it. Furthermore, if I actually want to continue doing game development because I enjoy it, and just for myself, I might pivot into revamping Slime Factory. I've already began rewriting the basic movement. Everything is up in the air, though. I don't want to make any brash, unsustainable decisions.
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basically nothing (9/15/2026)
I'm not compelled to journal anything in particular (the above is really what's important right now), but I went to my first college party last weekend. I did not drink any alcohol. I am in the minority. I don't like to admit this but part of me takes this sort of egotistical pride in the fact that I, a college student, can go to a party and not drink. GOSH, I'M SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU GUYS!
Also, bunii just dropped his new EP, WHATSNEXT, and it's actually incredible. My favorite songs on there are HARANA and BIG DAN TEAGUE KILLED PETE.